Chrismukkah in July: 30 sources on interfaith families

By EditorUpdated on . Posted on
The National Menorah shares The Ellipse with small Christmas trees representing individual states of the Union. Photo by Tim Brown.

Interfaith families had a bit of a moment last year. 

Democratic presidential candidate Kamala Harris’ multireligious marriage was called a “map of the future.” The popular Netflix comedy “Nobody Wants This” called up memories of the early aughts’ popularization of the portmanteau Chrismukkah — referring to the merging of the holidays of Christianity’s Christmas and Judaism’s Hanukkah — just as the two holidays coincided at the end of the year. 

These crossovers and conversations are no surprise to Susan Katz Miller, who has been writing about her own experience with, and expertise concerning, interfaith families. And those intersections are likely to continue, Miller says, with interfaith families becoming more common in the U.S. and in other diverse democracies. 

Twelve years after the publication of her book Being Both: Embracing Two Religions in One Interfaith Family, Miller says the theme is not only still relevant, “but perhaps more relevant than ever.” 

“With demographic changes and increasing support from religious institutions, I think it’s become easier to be an interfaith family; easier at being and doing both,” she says. “I think as a society, we’ve become more educated about these issues. And there have been some important shifts as a result.”

Challenges remain, says Miller, with family members, social circles and religious institutions sometimes still putting up barriers to the fusing of families from different religious traditions. 

In this edition of ReligionLink, we offer background, tips, related stories and relevant sources for you to better understand, appreciate and report on interfaith relationships, families and love. 

Background and a few resources

With Jewish neighbors, Hindu co-workers and nonreligious friends — amid other changes in the landscape of marriages and relationships — it is unsurprising that in the United States, interfaith marriages have been on the rise.

In fact, over the past five decades, the share of couples in same-faith marriages has dropped substantially, with an increasing number opting for starting interfaith families, according to the 2022 American National Family Life Survey. That means, according to Pew Research Center, that an increasing share of U.S. adults — up to 1 in 5 — “were raised with a mixed religious background.”

Nonetheless, challenges and areas of growth remain for interfaith families. While institutions have become more welcoming and inclusive, sometimes even being led by people in interfaith families, there remains a need for seminaries and other training institutions to better prepare clergy for the reality of multifaith marriages — from how they raise children or combine ritual elements in wedding ceremonies to ways to provide counseling and support as the couple’s relationship matures.

Meanwhile, some pressures from cultural context or extended family remain, and often so do the internal challenges of figuring out how, and whether, to honor different aspects of each family’s religions and holiday observances.

But, as Miller said, “these are the challenges all couples face.”

“It doesn’t really matter whether they’re two religions or one religion in a family,” she said, “there’s still going to be differences that must be negotiated. Every couple needs to address questions like: What did these religious traditions mean to me in my childhood? What were my feelings around them? What do they mean now? Has that changed? And do you want to bring that practice into your family going forward? Or not? And why?”

Resources to look to: 

Tips for coverage

Reporters looking to cover interfaith families and marriages might consider the following tips:

  • (Re)mixed holidays: As you can quickly see below, how interfaith families adapt, reinvent or otherwise navigate religious holidays with family, friends and their respective communities is a great story to chase up — especially when multiple holidays intersect. Consider covering local families and getting an inside look at the ways they merge, mix and remix their favorite traditions. See our guide on “Religion at Home” for more tips.
  • Everyday interfaith: Related to the above, how do multifaith families live out the rhythms of ritual and belief in the banal realities of everyday life? Do they pray around the dinner table? If so, what kinds of prayers? Do they go to multiple services a week? Just one? None? What about the stuff of their religious practice? How do they decorate their home? Do they have objects from multiple traditions in their homes? Do they give prominence to one over another?
  • Childrearing: In line with the previous two tips, if and when an interfaith couple has their first child, the complications multiply, starting with the first question — “What is our child’s identity?” And then come a whole lot more — “Who will teach them this or that faith and how will we teach them to integrate different heritages and values?” Interfaith parents face a raft of difficult decisions about raising their kids in two different religious traditions, one or none at all. Those decisions will shape their children’s lives and impact relationships with family, friends and wider communities. But it’s not all tension and tough calls; there’s also much joy to be reported on when it comes to mixing families and faiths. Find that spark and point to solutions in your reporting as well. How are these families making it work? Does one parent have more sway, or responsibility, than another? If so, why and how?
  • Clergy training: Many couples may turn to family, friends or religious leaders in their communities for answers. Those conversations can be tricky, especially if religious leaders are not well prepared, or trained, for such conundrums. How are communities and institutions preparing clergy for questions around interfaith love in an increasingly pluralistic environment? How do particular traditions approach questions about interfaith marriage, childrearing or worship together? With 1 in 5 U.S. adults growing up in an interfaith household, are there clergy in your area who grew up in mixed faith households? How might they approach this topic differently? Or, are there clergy who are both (e.g., both a pastor and a rabbi at the same time)?
  • Standout traditions: There are, as both the stories and sources included in this guide suggest, certain traditions that one could say are “over represented” in interfaith marriages. At least in the United States, non-Orthodox Jewish individuals are most likely to be in interfaith marriages, with rates exceeding 70%. Specifically, a 2020 Pew Research Center study found that 72% of non-Orthodox Jews who have married since 2010 have a non-Jewish spouse. In contrast, Orthodox Jews have a very high rate of marrying within their faith, with 98% of married Orthodox Jews reporting their spouse is also Jewish. Also prevalent are Unitarian Universalists, who –because of their approach to religion from a multi-faith perspective–often become a recourse for families looking for more accepting communities or congregations. At the same time, it’s important to note other traditions and their own interfaith marriage stories as well. 
  • Interfaith marriages around the world: Though the topics and questions above benefit from a local angle, interfaith marriages are not limited to the U.S. In fact, stories of interfaith love and relationships span the globe and may, in certain contexts, have serious political, economic or cultural ramifications. How might exploring issues of multifaith matrimony or interfaith love in different parts of the world help readers see the issue in a new, more expansive light? How do laws or practical approaches in others parts of the world shape the experience of interfaith couples in other contexts?
  • How has the general decline in religious adherence impacted the interfaith family landscape? In the 10 years since the first edition of Being Both, Miller said she has increasingly been working with couples who are in religious/secular relationships (e.g., Muslim and agnostic, Jewish and atheist). The number of Christians with secular, or nonreligious, partners, is one of the largest, fastest growing segments of interfaith families worldwide. Dale McGowan’s In Faith and in Doubt covers a lot of ground about marriage between people who are Christian and people who are “nones.”
  • Multifaith multiplied: Miller also noted an increasing number of couples and families who have more than two religions in their heritage; some that have three or more! “You’re going to have interfaith kids dating a Muslim; for example, a Jewish-Christian interfaith kid dating a Hindu. That’s three heritages in that coupledom,” she said. “This makes the interfaith family even more complex — and more exciting,” she continued. As Miller suggests, these kinds of family dynamics challenge some of the binaries that we have let define American religion (e.g., the Judeo-Christian binary) and fit in with conversations around multiple religious practice, or multiple religious participation. This idea was first explored by Catholic theologians who labeled it “multiple religious belonging,” but belonging can be a complicated thing, with gatekeepers in institutions often deciding who is in and who is out. Miller said she is increasingly engaging with interfaith families who teach their children two or more religions, as part of this global reality of multiple religious practice. How might such families help us question the bounded nature of the ways we define “culture” and “religion,” and rethink how interfaith families are helping shape traditions right before our eyes?

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Relevant sources and experts

  • 18Doors.com

    18Doors.com (formerly InterfaithFamily.com) is a resource supporting interfaith couples exploring Jewish life and inclusive Jewish communities. It offers educational content; connections to welcoming organizations, professionals and programs; and resources and trainings for organizations, clergy and other program providers.

  • Dalia El Ariny

    Dalia El Ariny researches the intersection of multiple identities in interfaith families. Born into an Italian-Egyptian, Catholic Muslim family, El Ariny’s research focuses on the everyday experiences of mixed-faith families in London. She is also the founder of My Mixed Heritage, a welcoming social space for individuals with mixed-faith backgrounds to connect, share experiences and find support.

  • Sarah Bassin

    Sarah Bassin is the rabbi in residence for HIAS, where she helps connect clergy and communities to the work of aiding and advocating for refugees and asylum-seekers. As the product of an interfaith background, Bassin is also involved in interfaith work. Contact is via Bassin’s website.

  • Duane Bidwell

    Duane Bidwell is an assistant professor of health professions education at the Uniformed Services University of the Health Sciences in Bethesda, Maryland. From 2010-2022, he was a professor of practical theology, spiritual care and counseling at Claremont School of Theology in Claremont, California. Bidwell is the author of When One Religion Isn’t Enough: The Lives of Spiritually Fluid People.

  • Edmund Case

    Edmund Case was the CEO of InterfaithFamily.com, an online resource for families who incorporate more than one religion in their practices. After retiring from InterfaithFamily.com, Case founded the Center for Radically Inclusive Judaism to advocate for radically inclusive attitudes and policies toward interfaith families – and for programmatic efforts designed to engage interfaith families in Jewish life and community.

  • Francesco Cerchiaro

    Francesco Cerchiaro is assistant professor in the gender and diversity department at Radboud University, Nijmegen, The Netherlands. He researched how Christian-Muslim families navigate cultural diversity.

  • Family Promise

    Family Promise (formerly National Interfaith Hospitality Network) is a national nonprofit that helps low-income families achieve sustainable housing independence. It has volunteer affiliates across the country, with more than 6,000 congregations involved.

    Contact: 908-273-1100.

  • Mike Ghouse

    Mike Ghouse is an Indian-American public speaker, author and interfaith activist who regularly writes on pluralism, human rights and religious freedom. Ghouse has officiated religious, secular and interfaith weddings in every combination with Atheists, Buddhists, Christian, Hindus, Jains, Jewish, Muslims, Sikhs, and others. Since 2010, he has officiated over 500 weddings.

  • Henry Goldschmidt

    Henry Goldschmidt, director of programs at the Interfaith Center of New York, is a cultural anthropologist and religion scholar. He wrote Race and Religion Among the Chosen Peoples of Crown Heights and co-edited Race, Nation and Religion in the Americas.

    Contact: 212-870-3514.

  • Samantha Gonzalez-Block

    Samantha Gonzalez-Block is an ordained Presbyterian minister who works with the Interfaith Families Project. She grew up in a multicultural, multilingual, Jewish-Christian home in Montclair, New Jersey.

  • Aisha Hauser

    Aisha Hauser is a religious educator, facilitator and social justice advocate who works at the Starr King School for the Ministry and for the Unitarian Universalist Association as children and families program director.

  • Amir Hussain

    Amir Hussain is professor of theological studies at Loyola Marymount University in Los Angeles. He is a former editor of the Journal of the American Academy of Religion. His research focuses on Islam in North America, with additional expertise in religion and music, religion and literature, religion and film and Islam and Christian-Muslim relations.

  • Interfaith Families Project of Greater Washington

    The Interfaith Families Project of Greater Washington is an independent community of interfaith families committed to sharing, learning about and celebrating Jewish and Christian traditions in the greater Washington, D.C., area.

  • David Kovacs

    David Kovacs is a founder of the Interfaith Family School, Chicago.

  • Bethany Mandel

    Bethany Mandel is a conservative Jewish columnist, political and cultural commentator and co-author of Stolen Youth: How Radicals Are Erasing Innocence and Indoctrinating a Generation. She has been a vocal critic of the multifaith family movement.

  • Keren R. McGinity

    Keren R. McGinity is an educator-activist who specializes in Jewish intermarriage and gender roles. She was the interfaith specialist at the United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism and is also affiliated with the Hadassah-Brandeis Institute and teaches American studies at Brandeis University. She was the founding director of the Interfaith Families Jewish Engagement program at Hebrew College in Boston.

  • Dale McGowan

    Dale McGowan is a podcast creator and producer, professor of music, philanthropist and author of eight books on nonreligious life, including In Faith and In Doubt: How Religious Believers and Nonbelievers Can Create Strong Marriages and Loving Families.

  • Samira K. Mehta

    Samira K. Mehta is an associate professor of women and gender studies and the director of Jewish studies at the University of Colorado Boulder. Her research and teaching focus on the intersections of religion, culture and gender, including the politics of family life and reproduction in the United States. Her first book was Beyond Chrismukkah: The Christian-Jewish Interfaith Family in the United States.

  • Susan Katz Miller

    Susan Katz Miller is an author and journalist who has written widely about multiple religious belonging. In 2013, she published Being Both: Embracing Two Religions in One Interfaith Family. Her book The Interfaith Family Journal was published in 2019.

  • Ari Moffic

    Rabbi Ari Moffic is director of youth and teen experiences and the Cohen Kadima Program at Mishkan Chicago. She was the founding director of InterfaithFamily/Chicago (now 18Doors).

  • Muslim-Christian and Interfaith Marriage Support

    Muslim-Christian and Interfaith Marriage Support is a network run by and for interfaith couples offering resource packs and a regular newsletter.

  • Eboo Patel

    Eboo Patel is the founder and president of Interfaith America, a Chicago-based international nonprofit that focuses on encouraging interfaith dialogue. Request an interview through Teri Simon at Interfaith America.

  • Erik Martinez Resly

    Erik Martínez Resly is the communications director of the American Civil Liberties Union of Texas, leading the organization’s advocacy and marketing communications with a special focus on arts and culture. He was the founder and co-director of The Sanctuaries, an art-focused spiritual community in Washington, D.C. and can speak to various issues of interfaith engagement. 

  • Lex Rofeberg

    Lex Rofeberg is a rabbi, as well as founder Judaism Unbound and the UnYeshiva, who is in an interfaith marriage and often speaks on this topic.

  • Tanya Sadagopan 

    Tanya Sadagopan is a minister at First Congregational UCC in Janesville, Wisconsin. She has written about multicultural interfaith couples and the role conflict and tension play within interfaith families.

  • Omid Safi

    Omid Safi is a professor of Asian and Middle Eastern studies at Duke University, where he also directs the Duke Islamic Studies Center. He edited Progressive Muslims: On Justice, Gender and Pluralism and is a sought after source on religion, culture and interfaith issues.

  • Unitarian Universalist Association of Congregations

    The Unitarian Universalist Association of Congregations works to connect individual congregations with others across the U.S. Contact the executive assistant for the office of the president, Stephanie Carey Maron.

  • Union for Reform Judaism

    The Union for Reform Judaism claims 1.5 million individual members in more than 900 synagogues. It maintains a directory of congregations and a directory of summer camps. Rabbi Rick Jacobs is president.

  • Women of Reform Judaism

    Women of Reform Judaism represents more than 75,000 women in the Reform branch of Judaism, providing leadership training to its members as well as financial help for rabbinical students, youth programs and special projects. Its offices are in New York City. Rabbi Liz P.G. Hirsch is CEO.

  • Ani Zonneveld

    Ani Zonneveld is the founder and president of Muslims for Progressive Values and is a board member for the Alliance of Inclusive Muslims, which works to counter gender, racial and sexual bias in the Muslim community worldwide. She is based in Los Angeles.

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